Well, another 2 weeks have gone by... and we have another post on submitting in marriage. I wrote this a week or so ago, but as I stated last, I have some things to catch up on still, so kept postponing... However, school starts next week and by that time I need to be fixed up around here so normal posting should return soon! As I said in my last post, I want to focus here on marriage- and I have talked before on how I feel submitting can achieve a more successful relationship. I recently saw, while doing a Google search of Christian homemaking blogs, a listing which purports to be an "alternative" to the "regular" homemaking blogs who are written by Christian women who are conservative and submissive (cue disparaging tone.) Uh oh.
Personally, I thank her, I believe this only accentuates what I am trying to show here. I think many of us "conservative" ladies try to show how deriding us as weak is ridiculous. I believe that submission (in the biblical way) makes marriages stronger.
I have both submitted and not in the past five years with Mr. Shelley, and when I don't does it make our relationship better? Am I more "empowered" and happier? No! I feel worse, and can always see that my pride causes me to be irritable with hime for the least thing, or no thing at all. Then, I speak in a snippy tone (as my Mom always called it, basically it means I sound like a whiny kid!) We often end uf arguing because of this, and as much as in the moment I like to blame him... he didn't appreciate me, didn't help me with the kids, etc the fact is if I hadn't been thinking of myself I would have reacted differently.
Is this the example of a working relationship? Maybe- if you take your example of a good marriage from the sitcom shows where the husband and wife trade jibes back and forth and constantly bust each other up verbally. An example of marriage- sadly, yes. But successful, positive marriage? I don't think so.
I am happy to share this at Works For Me Wednesday.
It really comes down to kindness and respect. There's a reason I'm still romantically in love with my husband after almost 30 years of marriage--we're nice to each other. I cringe at the word 'submit' because it sounds a little scary. I know it isn't meant to be in the context you're using, but it can be carried way too far. But I do defer to my husband where he's got the smarter ideas, just as he lets me do what I do best. For instance, while I pay the monthly bills, he figures out all the big financial stuff. I just don't have the head for that sort of thing. But he has the respect for me not to jump into anything without discussing it with me first.
ReplyDeleteI bet your husband 'submits' (still hate that word) to you at times, too! As long as it is done with love and respect, and neither partner is domineering, a marriage will work. It's when it is done by force or with abuse that trouble starts, IMHO.